no advice to offer but didnt want your post to go unacknowledged. Big hug.

 Gosh, there's a lot in there, and hard to post and do justice to all that you must be feeling.

On the splashing out big time, not totally sure on the mindset which accompanies it, but it's certainly been an ever present part of my daughter's relationship with her father and I'm guessing it's not uncommon. This lead on to an, all time spent with daddy = Christmas type feeling, all time with mummy = party pooper (bedtimes, tidy your room, no you can't do that etc etc). That said she is now 16 (we split aged 4) and is developing a greater rationale.

Splitting where children are concerned, again i can only speak from my own experiences. Was it hard? ... most definitely, probably the most difficult time i have endured. The feelings of failure were huge and took a long time for me to come to terms with. That said, i did, and in truth am glad about the path i took, it was the right one (though you couldn't have told me that at the time).

Your situation is different, married 20 years+ and children grown to semi-independence and beyond. It is difficult for me now, to try and comprehend your feelings; i can't even think to offer pertinent advice.

Just as in the above post,  i wanted to acknowledge your situation {]much love to you 

Hope you find a way through this.

Thank you for taking the trouble to reply. I know it has only been 3 weeks but it feels like a lifetime. He is resisting any attempts by me to communicate/discuss things. The younger children are 12 and 14 and have stayed overnight with him twice - I hate them going there but don't want to prevent them going as I don't want their relationship with him to suffer. It feels almost like a bereavement. Sometimes teaching is difficult as my mind is just not on my work at the moment, and planning and marking have suffered - but equally I think if I took time off I would go to pieces. Some of my teaching colleagues know what has happened and they are being fantastic at the moment even though I feel as if all my teaching skills have gone out of the window.

My marriage broke up after 21 years and it does feel like a bereavement, but you do come through it. I now have a reasonable relationship with my x. I found that there was no one to discuss things about the children with. Part of me felt resentful that they had just walked away and only had themselves to look after, on the other hand other things were easier as you run the show....Even today I think perhaps it should'nt of happened and in hindsight perhaps we should have struggled through UNTIL I have to be with him for longer than 24 hours and then I know it was the right decision, as we are far happier friends. In the last couple of years I have made him take responsiblity for the children at times by ringing him and telling him they are his as well. He has been quite helpful when I feel the children and I have had enough of each other. You do need some close friends who will listen to you, so you can unload. Best of Luck.

Had the same problems. Check your car handbook - it will give you tyre pressure and most of air systems at garages are digital so it's easy to get it right.  Coolant and antifreeze are the same .  Check back of bottle for instructions - most petrol stations have it and can offer advice or go to a halfords or car shop and they can help too.  My ex also had prblems with his meds.  Take care of yourself.