We have found ourselves in the very fortunate position of potentially being able to adopt 2 children.  We have not been assessed but as the potential 'match' has been made already, the process would go through a bit quicker.  My OH and I are thinking through all the possibilities and implications of this. 

However, IF it all happens (and we are still very much thinking it over- the situation has arisen quite quickly though we have been familiar with the children for a while for other reasons), we would have to delay putting off having our own child for quite a while longer, at least 18 months.

Then, what if it gets to that point and financial implications mean we can't have our own child .................. this is my dilemma.  I can't predict how I will feel that far into the future.  I know I'd love one of our own.  It's not just any child that we're thinking of adopting, it's the children in question or not, for the time being.  My heart is saying do it, do it, but my head is saying, try for our own.  But then I loose the children............... and oh, they need and we can provide a loving home and caring upbringing.

I hope we are thinking about this for the right reasons.  I think I have made my mind up, then my worries about how I'd feel about not having our own creep in.  I'd be ok about that if I knew we couldn't have our own.  But I don't know this.

Please be gentle!

Could you not start trying anyway?

lilachardy:

Could you not start trying anyway?

Sound advice Tigger.  My heart's already committed, I just need to get my head in gear too!  And to know that I'm not doing this because of a desire to to fill baby shaped holes in my life.  This is my OH concern about this, but he too is more than happy to adopt.  He said that he can see me being a mother to these two, but not to a tiny baby of our own, and I understand why he thinks that.  I know what to do with children, not babies!  But still, we haven't ruled out our own child.

Going from no children to 2 sounds madness.  We've already been thinking about bedrooms, car, our current rountines, support network, work, adoption leave etc and we can find ways round all that in theory. 

We are in contact with SS to answer some queries, but ultimately we need to make a decision, a massive decision about our life!

 Thanks for reading

x

Thank you Becky.  Why do you think you'd be turned down for adoption?  I think it's worth putting initial enquiries out there as there are so many children who desperately need to be placed in a family.