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Baby thinking 'cross mummy' is one big joke

Last post 01/02/12 at 20:50 by glitterkid, 10 replies
Post started by Milochka on 05/10/11 at 22:07

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  • Milochka avatar
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    Posted by: Milochka 05/10/2011 at 22:07
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    Hello Mums (and maybe some Dads). I have a 12 month old boy and am having 'discipline' issues - ridiculous I know. If I say 'no' to him, for instance if he is shaking the tv stand, he turns round, looks straight at me and says 'no' back and then does it again while laughing hysterically. The stricter and crosser my tone, the more funny he finds it. Even simply moving him away seems to be a fun part of the game. So my question is, how on earth do I make him understand that cross Mummy is not funny? Has anyone else had this kind of problem and does it get better? Thanks
  • glitterkid avatar
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    Posted by: glitterkid 05/10/2011 at 23:00
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    Sorry, are you talking about my child???  My dad told me that after telling LO "no" and wagging his finger at him that LO turned round, grinned and wagged his finger back.  He seems more responsive to a sharp "ah ah" and actually pulls his hand away which he doesn;t do with "no".

    He is 14 months and pretty well behaved but when you're trying to teach him not to touch the hot radiator, or pull the tv, it;s frustrating when he thinks it;s just fun.  Tonight it was trying to turn the taps on in the bath.  I'm hoping someone comes up with a magic solution.
  • mac78 avatar
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    Posted by: mac78 06/10/2011 at 08:08
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     My 2 year old still does it. I'm scared one day (if I'm having a very bad day!) I'll just slap her! I hate it too when you just get crosser and crosser and end up using a teacher voice, and it's still funny. It's worse than a class full of year 11 ignoring you. So I do try and avoid it (the teacher voice) at all costs. 

    I do find 'no', then picking her up and dumping her in another room and turning my back on her much more effective. She hates it because she wants attention all the time - she really knows she's upset me then. Is there something similar that would get to your little one? The first time I tried the 'naughty step' that worked quite well, but I do wonder with little ones how much they actually make the connection between what they did and your reaction. It's so much easier now my toddler can understand explanations much more. She will even remember what I said and repeat or imitate it - although that does have it's disadvantages. She was telling my sister about how her daddy shouts at her - complete with shouting at the top of her voice, frowny face and pointy finger! (I don't think we're that bad!) 

    I do wonder though how much laughing is almost just an instinctive way of trying to find out whether it's a serious situation or not. I remember reading once that laughing at someone falling over is just a way of finding out whether someone is hurt or not (if they're hurt, they'll join in, if they are they won't), so a toddler without the words or full understanding is trying to find out if you're serious. If you laugh back, it's not so bad after all. He's not just trying to wind you up - wait until they're a bit older to interpret it like that!
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    Posted by: undiwear 06/10/2011 at 15:31
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    I found distraction works better than saying no.  Even when they get to 3 and 4 yrs sometimes.  You may want to start to quietly build a tower on the floor to draw him away from the tv stand. Or paper and crayons,  Or leave the room and go get a snack (for him) sit down and start to eat it.  Distraction means that you ignore the behaviour and create an alternative at the same time.   Or a game of horsey, bouncing on your leg while you remain seated while singing a nursery rhyme they know well. 

     

    A friend with 4 kids told me that she realised (after no 3) that any 'bad' behaviour was usually them seeking a way to relieve boredom.  

     there is a book called 'the social toddler' which really helped me grasp the concept of visualising their world from their POV.  It isn't a book about teaching skills like supernanny.  It doesn't have the answers.  It shows what toddler behaviour is like and how by changing our expectations we get more appropriate responses from them.    It is about £10 or £15 a copy so you may want to check it out from the library first or get them to buy a copy for the local community.

     

     

     

     
  • kittenmittens avatar
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    Posted by: kittenmittens 06/10/2011 at 19:29
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    My daughter is only 9 1/2 months and she does this already- she laughs at me when I say no firmly and make a cross face, maybe she's testing me... she's not crawling yet but I'm worried that, once on the move and getting into everything, she'll just laugh every time I say no and I won't know what to do!

  • Milochka avatar
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    Posted by: Milochka 06/10/2011 at 20:53
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    Hi all, Thanks for the replies. It is reassuring to see that my son is not the only one to enjoy being told off! I will try a combination of distraction and plain 'removal' and forget about the no and waggling finger for the time being. It is probably partly my fault anyway as the first time he did it back to me, I must admit that I laughed and it was really funny. I agree that boredom is a big factor as it generally seems to happen if we've been in the house for a while. I am surprised that 'teacher voice' has no effect at all, but I suppose at school it is combined with the fact that for those kids we are a bit of an unknown quantity and could actually be a bit mad for all they know, whereas our own children know perfectly well that we are only ever nice!
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    Posted by: mac78 07/10/2011 at 08:27
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     I like the sound of that book undiwear, always interesting to try and think about what they understand.
  • glitterkid avatar
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    Posted by: glitterkid 31/01/2012 at 09:05
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    my little boy has now progressed to nipping!  not fun!
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    Posted by: jonesec 31/01/2012 at 19:30
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    Glad I'm not the only teacher with a defiant delinquent! I'm glad I live out of the catchment area. Could be bad particularly as I have a reputation for discipline!
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    Posted by: Chica77 31/01/2012 at 20:38
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    My son will be 3 in June and he thinks it's hilarious if I get cross with him, and it definitely doesn't stop him from whatever naughty thing he's doing.

    I also have an 8 month old who loves him to bits and follows him everywhere, and his latest thing is pushing her over as soon as she stands up, and saying 'fallen down'. Telling him off doesn't work, the naughty step doesn't work. I have to put him in his cot if he's being really naughty and hurting his sister.

    As Unidwear said, distraction is the best thing. If i offer to help build some Duplo, or do some colouring in, he'll happily do that and forget being naughty, but I have to sit there with him.

    Toddlers have to be entertained all the time!
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