I am posting to see if people can offer me some words of advice.

I have been a head for two and a half years in a good school with hardworking staff. I have a positive relationship with the staff although I am not always sure that I have got the balance completely right!

In general the parents are very supportive but I do have a few who aren't - I know that I am lucky that there are only a few! However, they do make my life very tricky at times and I currently have a difficult situation I am dealing with.

What I find so difficult is the stress that these situations make me feel - I haven't been able to eat all day, I feel sick and anxious and my mouth is dry. I can't get on or focus on anything and am wasting time because I can't settle to things. I do not like confrontation and find it difficult. I have managed not to cry so far today but feel very close to it. I really don't want to go in tomorrow and face it.

 I know that these situations are going to continue to occur during my time as a head if I continue so my main question for all you experienced heads is 'how do I build up my resilience emotionally to these situations and to confrontation?' Any comments or advice very gratefully received.

First off - it's not a life sentence. It's a job.

Think of the things that cause you the most grief and think of what the solution to each of these things look like - what the situation would be if these problems were completely resolved. In some cases the solution isn't there. make a special note of those ones.

THen think about what you need to do - not aspire to doing - that will make the first step toward each of the solutions you think you have a handle on. In some cases no step is available. Make a note.

start with the first step. Not the whole thing - just the first step. Power comes when you are in control, no matter how small that control is - you have taken it and power has a way of growing.

 For the first items on your grief lists - you can't change these. Accept it and resolve to let them slide by. Often you make it worse by worrying - protect yourself - let them slide.

For the ones where you aren't sure of the first step - someone else knows what this is. Cast around and find that person.

Your problems are ones you can deal with, a friend can help you deal with, or no-one can deal with. Learn to recognise which one is which, and react accordingly.

And remember - if anybody else tells you they could do it better, you only have to ask yourself why they aren't stepping up. It is usually because they lack the thing you have, which is the guts to try.

I am in my first headship and I feel your pain. I had the luck to jobshare for a year as a long hand over and I have felt the lonliness so much since my "other half" went. The stress can be horrific and I too hate confrontation.

 My saviour is my deputy head I don't know what I would do without him.

Sometimes on a Friday evening I get home and shut the door knowing I cannot bear to hear anyone say my name before Monday morning. Get out there and maintain your social/family life anyway you need that balance!

Exercise...seriously... I smash the CoG/awful parent/coffee machine gossip/'s face round the squash court twice a week  If you know what I mean

Take a least half of the holidays off in a block...you need it. Deal with all the horrid stuff first thing in the morning. Its like ripping off the plaster.

 If you want to have someone to talk to who has no real major answers but totally understand where you are coming from pm me.

A big thank you to everyone who has posted or sent me messages. You have all been so supportive. It sounds as though everyone feels much the same at times I just want to build up my resilience for coping with these periods.

 I hope that everyone has a lovely weekend.