Hi,

I'm getting myself a bit worked up about this and wondered what others do in the situation?

I want my newborn baby who is due in a few weeks to have a good relationship with her grandparents but one of them smokes.

It all got me thinking again at an antenatal class where the latest advice was that anyone who smoked had to keep away from baby for 20 minutes and wash their hands after smoking.

The grandparent smokes about 4 - 10 per day and always smokes outside, I'm sure this grandparent will wash hands etc and never smoke around the baby but it worries me about the future. i know I won't be able to ever leave my child there for sleepovers / babysitting for fear of them coming into contact with the chemicals on skin / hair etc.

Wondered what others do about this please?

Maybe my hormones are creating too much worry :-(

I have the same worry with my mum and am grateful for the ante-natal info as that's something I didnt know.

Mum's smoking has always been a "she's an adult, we're adults" thing. We know she knows the risks etc, but it reared its ugly head last summer when I got married and insisted on my dress being stored at my sisters and that mum needed to be more aware of how the smoke gets into everything, even though she either smokes in one room or outside.

My concern is doubled by the fact that I know she smokes in the same way (though will open windows/use extractor fan) when my nieces are there, however my husband has chronic asthma and its genetic, so highly likely our baby will have it. I want my mum and dad to have the same relationship that I had with their parents (frequent stop overs etc) but am not sure how to broach this difficult subject.

Any thoughts for me too? Thanks xx

my husband and in laws smoke and i had childhood asthma. i was worried about this but my LO is fine.

my friend and her partner don't smoke, no smokers in her family, no history of asthma and her 8 month old has had repeated chest infections and is now on a nebuliser and inhaler.

air pollution from cars is, in my opinion, far worse and i used to hate pushing my LO by busy roads when i was walking into town. just as many chemicals in them!

try not to worry about it.

This is a real nightmare for us. My Mum is a heavy smoker and lives more than 200miles away so when we see her we stay for the week. While we are there she goes outside to smoke, but at all other times she smokes in every room of the house.

Within a night of arriving I am bunged up and struggle to sleep at night as I can't breathe properly (and I don't have asthma), the smoke is in every fabric, the curtains and especially the carpet. LO stinks of smoke from crawling on the carpet from the minute we arrive and when we get back to our home we realise everything we took with us absolutely stinks, even things I haven't taken out of the suitcase! Takes us a week to get everything through the washing machine and you can smell smoke in the room we leave the clothes in while waiting to be washed.

Not much advice there, I'm sorry. Wouldn't say it was hormones though, I think it's a real concern that is very hard to address without the feeling of guilt on someone's part.

Sorry coolgiraffe, just realised you were asking about sleepovers and stuff.  As a PP said, it is often easier for them to come to you for babysitting (provided you have a spare room, we don't!) so that might help you out for the odd night here and there.  As you say, they smoke outside, and will prob be on boartd with handwashing and stuff - - my husband has a coat by the back door that he wears outside when he's having a cig - sounds a bit strange, but it makes me feel a bit better that his normal clothes aren;t all smokey!